


Loving Nightmare

by fuzzybunny78



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dreams, Fluff, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Illness, Mentions of Violence, Schizophernia, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-24 10:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20356618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzybunny78/pseuds/fuzzybunny78
Summary: Dimitri and Claude go to bed together and things take a turn for the worse when they both wake up freaked out by their own nightmares.





	1. Golden Deer in Headlights

“We should rest up, we both have classes tomorrow,” Claude said. “And--ugh--I have that exam with Manuela to do...I don’t even want to think about tomorrow. Today was so nice.” In one unceremoniously grand action, Claude brought him and Dimitri down onto the bed with a sigh. 

“Get some rest, you have to be up in what. An hour?” He teased, poking Dimitri’s nose happily.

"Fifteen minutes, actually," Dimitri giggled. 

He rolled over onto Claude's right side and kicked his way under the covers, glancing over at the curtains and noticing they were still open. He didn't say anything about it and wondered if Claude would notice. He certainly would in the morning. 

"May I sleep in here? My room is two doors down, but...I don't want to be apart from you. I can very easily go in there tomorrow morning to get ready. I went to sleep with you tonight."

Claude let out a small laugh, pressing his nose to Dimitri's cheek. “Baby, if you thought I was going to let you go back to your room you’re crazy. Of course you can spend the night here.” Plus Claude was halfway into the covers now, so there was no way he was about to get up and escort Dimitri to his quarters.

On top of that, the floor was a mess, they were both half-naked, and Dimitri probably would have died if he had to do the walk of shame back to his room with sex-mussed hair and dark hickeys. 

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say." Dimitri moved down in bed and pressed his body against Claude's, wrapping his arms around his lover and burying his face in the other man’s tan collarbone. He kissed Claude’s warm skin before leaving a trail of kisses up to his jawline, which the prince playfully sucked on as he settled in. 

Dimitri’s eyes widened for a moment as something else dawned upon him: the hickeys. _Oh gods_. He had to do something about those as well, but how would he do it? He didn't want to embarrass himself by asking Annette or Mercedes for makeup, and he knew he certainly wouldn't hear the end of it from the others if he so much as stepped outside. _Fuck_. 

"Thank you," Dimitri muttered as soon as he was satisfied with the mark he left on Claude's jaw, and he nestled his head against his lover's soft pecs. "Thank you for everything." 

Claude let his eyes flutter closed, a soft sigh at his lips as Dimitri played with his jaw (which was probably revenge for the dark mark he had placed on Dimitri’s jaw prior this evening). He could see it still, even in the dark, as well as all the other ones. Dimitri was so beautifully pale, bruises blossoming like roses, and Claude could always see the blood rushing to Dimitri’s face whenever the other was embarrassed. 

If Claude thought Dimitri was the most beautiful man in the world -- laid out in his arms, adorned with moonlight and Claude’s love marks -- then who could blame him. Not to mention the soft light from outside really- wait. _Fuck I forgot to close the curtains...well that sounds like a problem for future Claude._

Dimitri's face was the calmest right before he fell asleep. His head raced a mile a minute with thoughts and prayers to prevent nightmares, but they always crept through his wishes anyway. Every single night. Except for earlier that very day, when the Goddess finally decided to grace the young prince with a pleasant dream.

_Please, Goddess, don't let Claude have a bad dream. Please, please, please_.

Claude sighed contently, wrapping Dimitri up in a loose embrace. “Of course, my love...”

_There’s nothing you need to thank me for_. 

Claude did what he did out of love and loyalty truly. Dimitri’s happiness meant the world to him. 

Claude drifted off to sleep after Dimitri, having spent some lazy minutes running his fingers gently through his boyfriend’s hair. The afternoon had been perfect, and with that air of positivity, Claude swayed into slumber. Although often plagued with nightmares -- that of battles and blood, terrible beasts and near-death encounters -- he didn’t even worry about those kinds of dreams tonight, not with Dimitri so close by. 

When Claude opened his eyes, the vast expanse surrounding him was such as he had seen only once before. Was this...Gronder Field? It certainly resembled such a place, despite the burning hellscape it seemed to have become. Claude could almost feel the heat radiating off the embers around him, and he quickly shuffled off. He felt heavy; dragged down by an invisible force that seemed to sag his shoulders and pull at his back. Distant screams and battle cries sounded throughout the field, but they were hollow in Claude’s ears. He swore he saw people around him, fast blurs of colors he recognized swinging around him, but it was as if he couldn’t move with the same speed that they did. 

And then, despite the heat, the scorching fire around him, Claude’s blood ran cold. He met the icy blue glare in front of him, an eye that seemed to be burning into his very soul. 

_“Kill every last one of them.”_

Dimitri didn’t look corporal. He looked...ethereal, in all the wrong sense. It was as if Claude’s brain couldn’t conjure up the image of him correctly. There was..fur? The blonde hair seemed matted, and...longer? Or was Claude’s subconscious pulling tricks? His black armor seemed to shake in and out of existence, and much like the rest of the battlefield, Dimitri as a whole seemed to phase between being genuine or just a silhouette of smoke. 

Words stabbed at Claude’s throat, anxious to yell or reach out, but his limbs refused to answer. All he could do was stare. An unknown sensation crept behind him, dragging its deadly fingers down Claude’s neck, over his spine, chilling his body to the bone. He realized then that it was an emotion he was not used to feeling upon seeing the prince. 

_Fear._

_Claude was afraid of the man in front of him._

Behind the mess of blonde hair, Dimitri’s right eye was hidden away by a much too clear patch, but Claude could still see blood pooling there, soaked up by the fabric. His other eye, a lot colder and harsher than Claude was used to seeing it, narrowed. In an instant, Dimitri let out a battle cry, his entire body swinging forward as he lunged at Claude. Claude himself still couldn’t move, and now he wasn’t even sure if it was the same unknown weight or the fear that had seized his legs. Claude was known for his dexterity, his speed, and the way he seemed to almost dance out of attacks, but at this moment, faced with the lancer in front of him, all he could do was stare in horror. 

And before Claude could do anything, he swore he felt the phantom lance pierce his stomach. He could feel his flesh, ripping slowly at the point of the lance, tearing and yelling as Claude did nothing but gasp. And finally, _finally_, he moved. All he could do was clutch the fur of Dimitri’s cloak, hands shaking as he begged -- begged for anything, for Dimitri to help him, for Dimitri to leave, for help, for death, for the pain to stop-

Claude woke up with a silent scream, hands clutching the blanket by his torso, the skin of his stomach yelling in phantom pain.


	2. Blue Lion Stained Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Claude's unpleasant dream, it's now time for Dimitri to get a visit from the demons that haunt his every living moment.

_You're taking too long._

Dimitri's eyes snapped open, and he was greeted by fuzzy images of black trees against an even blacker sky. The only light that he saw came from a single lantern, held by one of three shadowy figures that stood just out of sight. 

"I...I'm sorry, I know I said I would avenge you, but-"

_Silence!!_ Dimitri startled and backed up a few paces, unfortunately tripping on a tree root that stuck out of the ground. The three figures closed in around him, and the one who had been speaking lowered himself down to Dimitri's eye level: his father, whose face the prince saw paralyzed with fear and death every night. 

"Father, I told you! I'm doing everything I can, and...and I know that you -- all of you -- are getting impatient, but I promise, I promise you will get the justice you deserve."

Dimitri's father smiled warmly and placed an ice-cold hand on his son’s broad shoulder. _Four years is a long time to wait, don't you think, Dima?_

Dimitri was blinded. He screamed, but no sound came out. He was drowning in red; everywhere he looked was nothing but red, and the right side of his face exploded with pain. The figures were gone, replaced by screaming voices. An endless choir of screams and cries filled Dimitri's head, and all he could do was cry with them. Blood on one side of his face, tears on the other. 

_You're not good enough! You'll never be good enough!! You've kept us waiting long enough, Dimitri, pull yourself together!! Our cries only get louder with every moment you're not reaching our goal! We had an agreement, didn't we? You shouldn't have survived. Come to us...we miss you, Dimitri...if you won't pull your weight, you should just give up. You'll be happy here, with us...none of your worries will follow you here…_

"Please...don't look at me like that."

Dimitri flung his head toward the sky and unleashed a mighty roar, his eye leaving red stains over the freshly fallen snow beneath him. He screamed and screamed - he would scream until his voice gave out. Blood gushed into his mouth, but he didn't taste anything. He never did. He began choking on it. He didn't care. The voices stayed, as loud as ever, and he swore they were getting louder and louder. He was a freak; he couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't taste. He couldn't call out to anyone - his parents were the ones behind this torture. He couldn't call Claude, Felix, Dedue...no one. What could they do? They didn't understand. No one understood. No one ever had, _and no one ever will._

In bed, Dimitri was crying. Sobbing, really, and his entire body was tense. With a shout, the lone prince's eyes snapped open and his body launched up, and his mind immediately caught up with his cries. He brought his hands up to his face, his body trembling with every one of his cries.

Dimitri continued to cry in anguish, unaware that Claude had woken up as well. His head was pounding. He could barely breathe. He looked down at his hands in the moonlight: one wet with tears, one with blood. 

_Do something. Make it worse. It's all you're good for._

Dimitri kicked the covers off and rushed over to the dresser, where there lay a dagger that Claude used for who knows what. When the young prince saw his reflection, he nearly cried out: his right eye was completely gone, replaced by an ugly scar with an empty eyelid, the entire right side of his face stained crimson with his blood. Yet...he could still see perfectly fine. 

Of course, he wasn't really bleeding. Schizophrenia was a cruel mistress. 

"You're a monster...all of you...I..._I'm_ a monster..." _Make it worse. Make it worse. Make it worse._

Dimitri slammed his fist down on the table before opening his eyes as wide as he could, tears and blood staining his face as he pointed the dagger at his right eye...at the wound that wasn’t there...

_Make it worse._

Everything happened too fast for Claude to fully comprehend what was happening. Dimitri was crying, _his_ Dimitri, not whatever the hell had stabbed him in his dream. It took Claude way too long to react, much longer than he would’ve liked, but eventually, he threw himself out of bed, grasping Dimitri’s forearms with his own, shaking, hands. Claude felt unsteady, his legs seemed to want nothing more than to collapse, and he swore he could feel cool metallic liquid right over his abdomen, but he knew it wasn’t possible. 

“D-Dimitri please, goddess...put the knife down,” Part of him felt selfish. It felt like Claude was asking out of fear for his own life rather than his boyfriend’s. 

“P-please gods.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor dimitri :( this chapter was mostly my own writing while chapter one was mostly zach's, so this one hurts me especially bc i know my own writing tactics. 
> 
> i know that i said ch 2/3 would be coming weeks after ch 1, but I just couldn't wait anymore! thank you to all who have read this fic so far + who have left kudos, it does not go unnoticed! i hope you'll stay with us for the publication of the final chapter in a few days!
> 
> As always, you can follow me at the following handles:   
Cosplay instagram: fuzzybunny78  
Twitter: fernandfe15 (includes commission information)


	3. Get Out of My Head.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Claude's first time witnessing one of Dimitri's complete breakdowns. Both still shaken from their nightmares, the night leaves an open wound in their relationship.

"Don't look at me!!" Dimitri shrieked, his voice dull and husky. He ripped his arms out of Claude's grasp with ease and backed up, pointing the knife away from his eye and right out at his lover. His throat surrendered a few more desperate sobs, and he turned his head down to break their tragic gaze. His blood pooled on the yellow carpet. "Please...I-I'm dangerous. I don't want to hurt you, Claude. Please...I apologize, but...stay out of my way!!" 

In a flash, Dimitri punched the living goddess out of Claude's desk, shaking the whole thing enough to loosen some of the drawer handles. This was no time for niceties. "I'll kill you...I swear, I'll kill you if you try to stop me...I'll...I-I'll..."

Dimitri pointed his weapon at the door, his swollen lips turning upwards in a sinister smile. "Kill every last one of them."

Claude felt his entire body run cold, hands coming to clutch his stomach. He could feel blood now, actual blood, dropping slowly out of a cut on his arm. It didn’t matter to him, not when Dimitri stared down at him like that, knife in hand. And for a second they weren’t in their room anymore, they were in Gronder Field, fire around them, screams of battle weighing heavy in the air. 

And again Claude found himself unable to move, unable to speak. He was scared, and that feeling didn’t come easy, not anymore. He wanted to reassure Dimitri, tell him everything was alright, to drop the knife, call for help even. But...he also wanted Dimitri to leave. 

“Dimitri...calm down, please. We need to get Manuela-- please don’t point the dagger at me, Dimitri!”

Dimitri grinned and let out a pained laugh, then suddenly he collapsed on the floor in a pool of his blood. He tossed the dagger aside and covered his face with his hands, his sobs and screams growing louder as his body cried in agony. The three ghosts of his past had appeared again, screaming at him and stabbing his back, his neck, his arms, everything. He was going to die here. He was going to bleed out and die a slow, painful death. He would never get to see his goal through. He would never get to be crowned king. 

_He would never get to see Claude's smiling face again_. 

"Stop it," Dimitri whispered, his hands flying up to cover his ears and grip his hair. "Stop it!" He repeated, louder this time. He couldn't move. His mouth filled with blood, but he didn't taste a thing. 

"Stop it, stop it, stop it! _Stop it!!_" He screamed over and over. That was all he said as he thrashed his head back and forth, pulling at his hair and sobbing as he curled himself into a tight ball. This is what he went through...every single night. 

_"Get out of my head!!"_

Claude felt sick. 

He felt dizzy, like the room around him was beginning to turn, and he had a hard time focusing on Dimitri. His issues had to wait, they _had_ to because he needed to tend to Dimitri first. One messed up nightmare and his pile of fears needed to wait because there were much more important things to deal with right now. 

He took a hasty step, afraid to get too close to his boyfriend. No matter how much he willed himself to, his legs wouldn’t carry him the whole way, and in a desperate last attempt, he sidestepped to the door and threw it open, yelling for Manuela or Hanneman in hopes that they would hear down the hall.

The next few moments were a blur. 

Dimitri heard Claude scream something, though it was too quiet under the screams of those who died for him. The next thing he knew, he was hoisted up by the help of four hands, somehow made it to the second floor, and finally to the infirmary. He remembered staring blankly at the ceiling while a familiar woman checked everything, and he remembered her shooing a mysterious man out of the doorway. The man looked worried, and he refused to leave right away. He might have even been crying, but Dimitri couldn't tell through the bloody, watery mixture that continued to stream from his eyes. 

Finally -- _finally_ \-- sleeping pills kicked in. The last thing Dimitri heard before losing consciousness for the rest of the night was seven simple words. 

"I love you, Dimitri. I'm so sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Zach and I are planning to write together more in the future, so look forward to that! 
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me at the following handles:
> 
> Cosplay Instagram: @fuzzybunny78  
Twitter (+commission info in bio): @fernandfe15

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back once more with some good ol' angst juice. This fic is inspired and ripped from an RP with my friend Zach, who is listed as a co-creator for this piece! We decided it would be best to publish it in chapters, so expect chapters two and three to be published within the next couple days. Thank you for reading and we hope you enjoyed~
> 
> By the way, my commissions are still open! More information can be found here: https://twitter.com/fernandfe15/status/1164197754085789696?s=20
> 
> And as always, you can find me at these handles:
> 
> Cosplay Instagram: fuzzybunny78  
Twitter: fernandfe15


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